On name changing...

When we went to get our marriage license a few weeks ago I had to write down my current name and what my name will be after I'm married. I'm a very traditional person in a lot of ways, but I still had to put some thought into that choice.

It was personal and quiet and no one else was involved, because its MY name after all.

I love my middle name, Ann. I always have. The idea that my first name is Hebrew for princess and my middle name means queen has always been a part of my identity. It was also my mother's middle name before she was married. I didn't really want to give up that part of my identity.

I'm also incredibly proud to be a part of the family that I grew up in. It means something to me to be my father's daughter and to carry his name, and then to know that I am also my mother's daughter. It is the name that I've carried with me for 27 years. It matches with my siblings last names and I like being counted among them.

A lot of the ideas expressed in this post really resonated with me. However, the comment that I liked the most was the idea of adding to your name rather than changing your name. When I get married I won't be changing who I am or losing any part of my former identity. Instead, I'll be adding my husbands life to mine and adding that association to my identity.

In the end I decided to give up Ann as my middle name. I'll give it to one of my daughters instead, the way my mom did. I'll keep my last name as my middle name as a way of staying connected to the family that I came from. I'll add my husband's last name to my own to show that we are a unified team and to create a name for the family that we will build together.

Just like being married, I'm sure that my new name will take some getting used to, but I'm sure I'll grow into it.