Dear New York

Dear New York City,

I know you probably don't remember me, but I remember you. It was a year ago yesterday that I left you and moved away, back home to California.

I still think about you a lot. About your hustle and bustle, your restaurants, your subways, your towering buildings and your sprawling parks. I miss the sound of you and all of your texture. I miss being a part of something so big and so exclusive. You know? It meant something to me to say that I was a New Yorker, and I don't really get to say that anymore.

I miss the people too. Melissa and Sarah. Kevin, better know as Kheaven. Kristin, Jane, Malia, Gabbi, Karene, Dustin, Eric... all of them. I miss my New York Italian team from Time Warner, Lawrence, Tony, Luca. Even Everett and Thomas. Gosh they are good people. Really, really good people. All of them. We still keep in touch sometimes. But its never the same, you know?

I miss the famous sights that became a part of my everyday. You know I used to walk through Times Square almost everyday? I passed the Flatiron Building four or five times a day. I went to church across the street from the Lincoln Center. I could see the Statue of Liberty from the park on my evening walks. And that was just everyday.

I long for the little places too. Those places that weren't famous, but they were mine. If you didn't live in the neighborhood, you'd never know about them. I really miss my friends at Columbus Market. The ones who would deliver Diet Dr. Pepper to my apartment for me when I was sick. Who would let me cut in line if I was grabbing breakfast and late for work. I miss my Saturday mornings at Zanny's. The smell of eggs cooking and coffee brewing. I would sit there and write in my journal, eat my little wrap filled with sprouts and brie and mango chutney. It was delicious. When I would leave, my hair would smell like that for the rest of the day. The guys at the pizza place on Columbus and 110th were great too. They didn't know but they called me beautiful every time I walked by. How can you not love a place like that?

I'm doing great though. My life here in California is pretty incredible, so I can't complain one bit. I married the most wonderful guy. I think we could be happy anywhere together, except maybe Antarctica. And the truth is I'd rather be with him than with you, so... That's why I'm not coming back, just so you know. Unless he comes with me.

You know I really like the weather here. I love driving a car every day. Driving is fun. And I get to see my family all the time. My mom and I have lunch. It's good. And my brothers... they are getting big and its really fun to be here and to see them becoming such great people.

But, I think its ok, you know? To be happy where I am but to still miss you? Because I think that there are too many things that I love to embrace them all at once. I have to love some of them from a distance.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that it's been a year. I still miss you, but I'm really happy.

Hope you're doing well.

Love,
Sara

(view from the roof of my old apartment on the Upper West Side)