Receiving compliments can be a little tricky. You don't want to appear cocky or full of yourself - "Why YES! I AM fabulous, I'm so glad you noticed!" But it is also pretty rude to refuse the compliment outright- "No! My gourmet cooking that I slaved over for hours was terrible! I'm surprised you could choke it down, let alone say it was delicious!" Nobody believes your false modesty and now you've insulted their judgement.
Here are a few of my favorite go-to compliment responses:
1) "That is very kind of you, thank you!" - This one turns the compliment around, it graciously accepts the compliment while also appreciating the giver. Win-Win.
2) "I appreciate that, but it wouldn't have been possible without..." - This one is particularly handy when you are standing in a group of people who all contributed, but the compliment is directed to you. This allows you to accept the compliment and then share the glory. Win-Win-Win.
3) "You are very generous to say so." - This one is for those totally off the wall, over the top compliments where it would clearly be awkward for you to agree with the compliment because there is just no way that its true - but you don't want to put the giver on the spot by calling out their exaggeration or insincerity.
4) "Well that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me." - I know this one is a bit kitschy, but when you are keeping the mood light and the humor high, this silly little colloquialism is surprisingly effective.
5) "Thank you." - Sometimes the simplest answer is the best response - and its hard to go wrong with a classic.
Showing posts with label how to. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to. Show all posts
Friday, February 10, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
How to give compliments
Compliments are one of my favorite parts of socializing. They set strangers at ease, they are conversation starters, they open doors and they make any situation just a little more fun! Being able to recognize the good and the admirable in other people and then being able to tell them in a way that makes them feel good and admired is a talent and a skill.
I can still remember some of the most thoughtful compliments that I've received in my life and they still make me happy and boost my confidence when I think of them. Many of the best friendships in my life have started that way - with brief, but meaningful, praise.
Regular, every day, "Hey I like your hair" compliments are nice, but its the ones that take a little more effort that really hit home. Here are a few of the strategies (tips? tricks? tactics?) that I've observed for giving great compliments.
1) Be specific. Compliments mean the most when they show that the giver was paying attention. An eager, "Ooo! Cute dress!" will have less of an impact than, "I love the way your dress brings out your waist." The more specific you can be, the more it means.
2) Bring it back to the person. When you bring the compliment back around to the person, you are praising their talents and characteristics instead of what they can buy. For example, the next time you admire your friend's shoes, follow it up with, "You have great natural style," or "I have always admired your flare."
3) Be sincere. Fake compliments are transparent and can make the receiver feel as if they are being mocked. If you can't mean it, don't say it. Not everyone you meet will have a look or a style that you want to emmulate, not every talent is one that you can fully appreciate - This is also an opportunity to compliment people on their efforts, successes and accomplishments. Look for something you can trully appreciate, or take a pass and try again next time.
4) Share a little. Careful here, don't make it all about you, but letting someone know that they have had a positive impact on you is one of the best compliments you can give. "You are a good speaker," is lovely to hear under any circumstances, but "You speech made me want to be better friend," gives their act greater meaning and purpose.
5) Ask a question. Compliments are the perfect opportunity to start a conversation. Follow up your compliment with a question that you'd honestly like to learn about. Even a question like, "I love your necklace, where did you find it?" can be the start of a great conversation or a great friendship.
6) Pass it on. Sometimes it can be difficult to deliver a compliment directly to the recipient. If you are shy about complimenting someone directly, or if they are just hard to get to, share the compliment with someone close to them - a friend, a spouse, an assistant - and ask them to pass it along. And if you hear a compliment, by all means, share!
Next time, how to receive a compliment.
I can still remember some of the most thoughtful compliments that I've received in my life and they still make me happy and boost my confidence when I think of them. Many of the best friendships in my life have started that way - with brief, but meaningful, praise.
Regular, every day, "Hey I like your hair" compliments are nice, but its the ones that take a little more effort that really hit home. Here are a few of the strategies (tips? tricks? tactics?) that I've observed for giving great compliments.
1) Be specific. Compliments mean the most when they show that the giver was paying attention. An eager, "Ooo! Cute dress!" will have less of an impact than, "I love the way your dress brings out your waist." The more specific you can be, the more it means.
2) Bring it back to the person. When you bring the compliment back around to the person, you are praising their talents and characteristics instead of what they can buy. For example, the next time you admire your friend's shoes, follow it up with, "You have great natural style," or "I have always admired your flare."
3) Be sincere. Fake compliments are transparent and can make the receiver feel as if they are being mocked. If you can't mean it, don't say it. Not everyone you meet will have a look or a style that you want to emmulate, not every talent is one that you can fully appreciate - This is also an opportunity to compliment people on their efforts, successes and accomplishments. Look for something you can trully appreciate, or take a pass and try again next time.
4) Share a little. Careful here, don't make it all about you, but letting someone know that they have had a positive impact on you is one of the best compliments you can give. "You are a good speaker," is lovely to hear under any circumstances, but "You speech made me want to be better friend," gives their act greater meaning and purpose.
5) Ask a question. Compliments are the perfect opportunity to start a conversation. Follow up your compliment with a question that you'd honestly like to learn about. Even a question like, "I love your necklace, where did you find it?" can be the start of a great conversation or a great friendship.
6) Pass it on. Sometimes it can be difficult to deliver a compliment directly to the recipient. If you are shy about complimenting someone directly, or if they are just hard to get to, share the compliment with someone close to them - a friend, a spouse, an assistant - and ask them to pass it along. And if you hear a compliment, by all means, share!
Next time, how to receive a compliment.
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